Kind of a blah, blah Thursday.

Or maybe it's more of a guilt thing that's bringing me down. I'm in a super mood otherwise. My SFL membership is up this month and frankly, I prefer not to weigh in or even call. My nutrition counselor put me off on our last visit and I haven't been back to see her since. One week I missed, another I did an express weigh in and tonight I believe is my last night. I thought I should call and say we can't make it. That's the decent thing to do (esp. since our appt. is the last one of the evening). DH is going to a movie tonight anyway and I just plain don't want to go. The thing that "put me off" has to do with the VON chocolate dinner I went to. After telling her I signed up for it, she asked, "why did you do that?" It made me angry. I feel if I plan for a cheat night, I should damn well be able to have it. And instead, she made me feel aweful, which let me to emotional eat. I know in my head that I've just made it worse for myself by doing it. And now I'm finally working toward turning it around. But still, I'd rather not see her again and have to face that negativity.

You know, a lot of these programs come close, but they all miss the mark in one form or another. If I had the money, ambition and inclination to open my own place, I'd combine all aspects of weight loss. Nutrition plan with nutritionist, exercise plan with trainers, and most important an actual licenced psycologist/psychiatrist/counselor. Because at the heart of every overeater is a reason...maybe food is a stress reliever, a comfort, whatever. And I know there are other alternatives to food deep in my core. But having someone else to share your feeling with and remind you of that fact would be the final key. Guess I better open my own place, huh? Anyway, I have to get going. That's my rant for today. As always, thanks for your ear/eyes and your comments. You guys are great!!
~B