Empty threats
Ya know, sometimes you gotta do whatcha gotta do to get results. Today I made a threat to E if she didn't nap. Not that I'm fond of threatening her at all but it seems the only way to get results. Often times I warn her that if she doesn't (fill in the blank), I'll send her to her room/give her a time out/put her to bed. She'll still continue to carry on until I start to count...then she comes running. I don't like to operate that way but again, I get results. So back to the nap. She's been very, very difficult to get to nap. Today's threat was a spanking. I didn't intend to spank her period...just wanted her to listen. And she did. Is that wrong? I guess the deal would be would I have spanked her if she didn't listen. *Sigh*
Spanking wasn't used on me only but 1 time. My oldest brother, I'm told, got the majority. I think by the time I came along, mom realized it wasn't very affective. I tend to go for things I know E loves...her blankie and baby...but now she'll say, "I don't want blankie/baby" and throws them on the floor...so where do I go from there? I can't threaten to give her a time out/send her to bed because she's already in bed. Maybe that's the problem...threatening to go to bed...cause when she's supposed to go, she may see it as punishment instead of a rest. Hmmm...food for thought.
Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about the nap. I really viewed it as a break for me but now with 2, and differing naptimes, I'm not getting a nap when the 2 are home. Today I switched my thinking. Naptime is for the girls to rest, not me. If I somehow manage to coordinate naptime, great for me, but trying to accomplish that is stressful. I decided to let it go, skip the nap, and hope to get one the following day. Knowing I can nap every second day is sufficient. Plus, I'm in bed earlier in the nights. I've given up waking L because she still wakes in the night. Now I go to bed around 9 or 10, up at 2 or 3, back to bed till 6. Not the best, but not bad. And every now and then I get blessed when L sleeps ALL NIGHT. Now if I could just get E to stop waking up, screaming in the middle of the night. Ah well, whatever it takes to get through the day.
Well, have a great wknd!
~B
posted by Bern @ 1:09 p.m.
2 Comments:
Dilemas...I have ended up only making threats that I intend to carry out. With C lately it's been no tv b/c of what he was doing or not doing at the time. I came across times when I couldn't carry out the threat and that isn't effective in setting up their expectations. Now, if I say it, I mean it and they know it. Just thought I'd share :)
E is at a limit-testing stage for sure so no matter what you say I'm sure she'll have comeback. Kids ;) Try not to get worked up about it (you or her) and go with the flow. It just isn't worth it. Sounds like you're doing just that with naps and it will make things easier. While it is nice to catch a few zzzz's with em, it just may not be in the cards. At least she's only up once in the night (or so it sounds) so that's good. Those early morns and guarenteed wake-ups are the reason I go to bed so early now. I just can't function otherwise. It'll get easier/better or so I'm told ;) LOL
Have a great weekend chick!
I found following through to be the hardest, yet most important, thing I had to do with my two girls. It isnt about how strict you are (I was actually super laid back). And it isnt about what you do (my youngest reacted to having things taken away, my older one, alas, to spanking). In other words its not about how often you say something, or what you say, its about actually meaning it 100% when you DO say it. I once threatened to spank my oldest while we were at a waterpark, knowing full well I wouldnt do it. She tested me, I didnt, and a good kid slowly started to become a problem kid for almost 6 months. In retrospect, I wish I would have followed through, water park or no. Point being, it isnt easy, but don't make a threat you don't plan to carry through on, and if you accidentally make a threat you shouldn't, suck it up and follow through. Just my two cents.
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