Oh De-stress

This is my de-stress station at the moment. I knew if I tried to lie down my brain would be going overtime. So here I am...and here was today's stressor.

I've talked several times about L's tummy troubles...the gripe water, ovol, molasses water, switching from milk formula to soy and back again. Still, the same thing happens...2 hours after she eats, she screams and her stomach is in knots...and her poops are still like hard clay. Well today her screams were the worst I've heard and she kept it up for 20+ mins. After some insight from mom, I called emerg. I couldn't help but break down over the phone...she said to come in. By the time I got in there, she was better...which is what usually happens. They did an examination and gave me some pamphlets about using prune juice in her formula. Then when I start with cereal, to sprinkle bran in it. But they told me to hold off on the cereal till she gets her bowels in order.

I feel relieved...and cautious. I keep trying one thing after another and it seems to get worse instead of better. I just pray that this is the thing and we'll be good from here on in. One thing for sure, those 2 little pamphlets were more help than my own GP gave us since L's birth. Grrr. I'm just glad it's over. On top of it all, I'm trying to handle my stress better...but didn't do well today. I knew I was stressed and I knew I wanted to eat because of it. And I was hungry which didn't help the situation. After the battle of wills I finally said the hell with it and ate Wendy's drive thru for lunch. And instead of beating myself up over it, I'm going to let it go and start at the next bite. This entire week's been bad for self loathing and I'm turning it off. I may not be doing my best, but I am trying. I just have to keep going and not give up.

Well, I'm emotionally drained. Off to bed for a little rest.
~B