F.A.

I haven't searched but I'm pretty darn sure there's info online for F.A...food-aholics, food addicts, what have you. The more I battle with my weight, the more I realize I need a 12 step program. Not sure if there's something out there for me like that but there should be. I've heard of overeaters anonamous (sp?). I find "overeaters" not completely accurate. I agree, that's what I do, but it's really an addiction to food that's the problem. And I feel it's the worst addiction to have. I'm sure you've heard people compare it to drugs and alcohol. Both of those you can give up, but everyone has to eat to live. Truly, there's even more to it.

My addiction to food came from childhood. When you don't know how to cope, you turn to what's available. For a 8 year old, food was what I knew. I came from a big pants family. I used to eat at home and then at the neighbours house. And I'd sneak food too. As an adult, I've dealt with the issues that lead me to start eating, but I don't know what other way to cope. I'm the classic "emotional" eater. I eat (as Dr. Phil says) to medicate, celebrate...out of boredom. Throw tempting sugar laden desserts on top (which I believe are addictive) and you've got one big mess.

I am a smart person. I realize it's all math. Eat more calories than you need + no exercise = weight gain/unhealthy lifestyle. I also realize the need to get all your ducks in a row. Eat right + exercise + drink water = a healthy lifestyle = weight loss/maintenance. But along with those pluses (for me personally) I need to factor in a few more things. I need a healthy way to deal with stress, boredom, temptations, social gatherings, etc. I've heard exercise is a great substitute but it's hard when you're home with 2 kids. I do get out, even more now. Still, I need something more solid I can do with kids around. For boredom, there's lots I could do but my motivation is lacking. I think social gatherings and temptation are all about self control. Not sure what all the answers are but I'm sure analysing lots.

All this is part of the continual work on myself. Slowly with baby steps, I'm working on it. Trying to be more accepting of myself. Trying to get those ducks together...even if they're not in a line all the time. Trying not to be so hard on myself...but still be accountable. Learning to forgive myself when I mess up so I can move on and not dwell on it. Like I said, it's a battle...actually, it's more like a war. Every day, every meal, every bite is a battle. Some days I win. Some days the food wins. Guess the idea is not to give up.

Well, I'm gonna to have a hot soak in the hopes the McFlurry melts away down the drain. I had good intentions...2 chicken wraps with GRILLED chicken and shared E's small fries. Oh, and an iced coffee (which is nice btw). Guess the food and I had a draw. :)
~B
~B