I met Lady Chomps-a-lot

Working in radio, you sometimes get lucky enough to meet some celebs. Today, Miss Lady Chomps-a-lot took time from her busy schedule to stop for pics. ;) Too bad I didn't bring my camera but I'll be seeing her again tomorrow. Little Ray's Reptile Zoo is at Exhibition Park. Only 6 bucks a person, which isn't bad for something to do on a Saturday. We'll bring both girls early. I'm hoping it works out cause L usually goes for a nap around 10ish...or not. Depending on the day. But if we keep her out till lunch, I'm sure she'll have a great afternoon snooze! Fingers crossed.

So finally, it's Friday. Still haven't watched any TV. Grey's was a rerun. I was pissed! Finished the Tao of Pooh and started another book. Don't laugh at me. It's "I Can Make You Thin" by Paul McKenna. He's that British guy who had a TV show of the same name. He's a physicologist, and does hypnosis. I know, sounds weird, dumb, silly. But can it hurt to try? Anyway, so far it's interesting. I'm excited to see if it works. The book includes a 26 min hypnotic CD which I'm supposed to listen to every night for 2 weeks. I paid more attention to how I ate today and made sure I ate when I was hungry. I didn't eat smaller portions, probably because I packed healthy ones. Suppers will be telling...cause I usually have an extra spoonful of this or a lick of that when putting things away. Or had dessert just cause that's what I usually have at the end of a meal, not cause I'm still hungry. So, we'll see.

Well, hope you have a fun wknd planned. Besides the zoo I have 2 choir practices (Sat and Easter choirs). I think I'll try to scrap at home on Sun too. Lots of time with no TV. :)
TTFN!
~B

Making Connections

So, I survived my first night, which was easy, since I was out (hehe). DH & I brought E to Ash Wed mass, which was full (nice to see). Got her home and in bed by 8:30 and then I avoided the TV, which was on (MIL & DH watching), and made a healthy lunch. It wasn’t until after I was in bed that I realized I had a lunch meeting. Oh well! Anyway, packed the healthy lunch, got clothes ready for work and got in bed with “The Tao of Pooh” (as in Winnie-the). I have just a few pages left which I thought I might get to read today but was busy. I will tonight though.

I’ve been amazed at the connections between this book and other things I’ve read/seen. I was trying to explain on FB today but didn’t do it justice. One example: Myrn was talking to me about my worth and how I have a hard time seeing myself as worthy. Last night I read, “In order to take control of our lives and accomplish something of lasting value, sooner or later we need to learn to Believe…We simply need to believe in the power that’s within us, and use it.” There are earlier examples in the book that connect to. Like when Pooh sees himself as a bit of a nobody, but the “narrator” shows him that’s not the case. “No mater how Useful we may be, sometimes it takes us a while to recognize our own value.” Anyway, it really made an impression on me.

Well, I’m gonna run. ToP tonight…and maybe onto the next book. Hmm…which one.
~B

Lent

I've decided what I'm "doing" for Lent. Instead of giving up, I think doing something selfless is a better idea. However, this year my selflessness is turning to selfishness...the good kind. I've decided to dedicate 40 days to me! In the act of taking care of myself...and DOING THE WORK...I'm going to make time for preplan lunches, exercise, pampering, reading self help, etc. And in an effort to make more time for all this...I'm giving up mindless TV. So, I'm giving up and doing good, for me. Now, I must explain that mindless television does not include Grey's Anatomy...or movie nights. It's all the crap I watch that I totally don't need to be watching. Sure TLC is a great channel but I don't need to watch 2 hours of Jon & Kate or 18 & counting every night. And yes, TONS of interesting stuff on the History channel. There's just no need. Especially when I have 4 books on the go...okay, 3, the "work" one is work related and to be read at work. Thank goodness the Feb Free-for-view is over.

So, tonight is the beginning. I'm feeling much better so exercise in the Wii is in order. I've been doing a 1/2 hour per session, which I think is good...if I'm doing it consistently. I want to do some wknd activity too. Maybe I'll get E & L out for a mid morning walk or something. Hey, maybe DH will come too! The roads out our way aren't great for walking but even if we got out and went down to the lake. Not much exercise but definitely good to get the fresh air. Hmm...guess I need more ideas on that. Coasting is my fav but the snow is pretty hard/packed for that. Any other ideas are welcome. I thought of geocaching but I don't have a gps and it would be tough with L.

So, that's all for me for now. Don't forget, no meat tonight. Really bummed me out since we had leftover sausage, veg & cheese omelete. Tomorrow's breakfast, right? And hey, we still have potato pancakes for tonight...whoo hoo!
TTFN!
~B

Organized & Optimistic

I had a great night last night. I finally did a thorough overhaul of my scrapping stuff. I have my pics lined up for my 2008 album and Lily's 1st year album. Just have to take the time to scrap it all. Hurray!! Not sure when I'll work on it again. I do it mostly when I go out to the CM reps for the afternoon. And I'm trying to limit myself to once a month that way I don't cut in on time with the girls. Most nights I'm just too tired or busy to work on it. If you can't have several hours devoted to it, it's pointless to try. Plus, I like to reserve the evenings for a Wii workout...which I haven't done in a week with this cold. Not sure if I will tonight. I'm mostly better but not 100%. We'll see.

So, Happy Fat Tuesday!! DH's home whipping up potato pancakes and a sausage, veggie and egg scrabble. Can't wait! I love breakfast, especially when it's not breakfast time. :) Nothing else planned for tonight. Just veggin' with the gals. Maybe a bubbly tubbly with them. It's nice to get in the tub by myself but that rarely happens. Once I fill it up, E gets excited to get in. I don't mind though...except when L splashes like crazy! Well, I'm gonna run. Enjoy your pancakes!
~B

On Hiatus

Wow…it’s been a while. Sorry for the absence. I was sick last week…cold, sore throat…and trying to prep for DH’s b-day at the same time.

Thursday I went in to work just for a bit. E had a dentist appt. She did great! She has 20 teeth and went through the whole deal, fluoride and everything without complaint. I left work when she was done (around 10 am). DH & I dropped her to daycare and ran a few errands. Got home, had lunch and rested all afternoon. I needed it! I managed to bake a carrot cake with cream cheese icing, from scratch. Yeah baby, there’s no other way. Friday morning I woke to a terribly sore throat so I called in sick. DH dropped the girls to daycare. I rested on the couch most of the morning. Swept and tidied a bit b/c of DH’s party (the show went on). MIL made wings, meatballs, rice and I whipped up a salad. Everyone had a good time. We had fun playing the Wii too! We gave DH a Wii points card and he downloaded Bomberman. Super fun if you haven’t played it. Hmm…let’s see what else is new.

Saturday, stayed home and relaxed. I skipped choir practice and church since I still didn’t have a voice. DH & I thought we’d catch a movie in the evening (Bring a friend for $1.99) but the line was outside the door. We went to Chapters and browsed around then picked up a rental (Tropic Thunder) and headed home. Movie was pretty good. Sunday, MIL took the family to breakfast at Smitty’s. The girls did pretty good considering L was tired…and we discovered (after her biting off a piece of crayon) that she has 2 more teeth!!! Afterwards, we went home and got L to bed. DH, E & I went to church. I scrapped in the afternoon (9 pages) and watched Tinkerbell with E in the evening.

Still after all that rest, you’d think I felt well rested. Not so much. I’m sure by tomorrow I’ll feel more myself. I’ve skipped working out since being sick and I miss it. Honestly, I figure it won’t do me any good to try to force myself through it. Well, hope your weekend was a germ-free, restful/fun one.

TTFN!
~B

Yeesh...did I dig too deep?

So I forgot to write yesterday. I was in a pissy mood because NS has been left off the list for Family Day. How sucky is that? And I think we need the holiday the most since we’re usually hit with the worst weather in Canada…well the Maritimes are truly. Not to mention we’re the last on the list for stat holidays. Just stupid! Anyway, that’s my little soap box action.

I feel I’m slipping into the dumps again. More of a personal thing than a financial one. Not sure if it’s the February blahs or I’m just tired of the weight or I’m feeling like I’m falling apart. I haven’t gotten “better” since I had the flu 3 weeks ago. Just not feeling myself. I feel like a bag of sh*t because I haven’t taken good care of myself and now it’s starting to affect me. I know exactly what I need to do, I have the best intentions, but still, I’m doing it. What is the damn problem? What’s the mental block? That’s why I keep wanting to revisit the secret…maybe Dr. Phil’s weight loss book would be a good idea…or the food addiction book that’s been sitting in my room, unread for months. *Sigh*

So, what’s the motivation? What do I need to get me to do what I need to do? Better yet, what’s the payoff for me not doing it? Let’s see, it’s work. So if I don’t do it, I don’t have to do the work required to take care of me. Maybe I’m too focused on taking care of people that by the end of the day, I don’t feel like taking care of anyone else, even if it’s me. How do you put yourself first when obviously kids demand attention? It’s not like I can say, “hold on girls, you’ll get your breakfast right after I’m done making something healthy for me.” You can’t do that. But if I did the prep ahead of time (the work), I’d be all set.

It comes down to being resentful. I’m tired from work, caring for the kids, tidying up after everyone and feel like why should I put the time in for me when no one else does. That’s the unfortunate thing of it all. The best person to take care of me is me. And then when I do make an effort, I feel sabotaged. Like an alcoholic trying not to drink and someone brings home a bottle of rum. That’s what it’s like. I’m no saint either. I bring stuff in the house too. Only because I feel it’s pointless to do better when my surroundings aren’t set up for it. I know this warrants a family meeting but will it help? I feel the point will just get lost. It’s about me…not anyone else. If they want to keep on doing what they’re doing, do I have a right to tell them to do it in private away from me? Because I want to demand more of myself, can I demand it of others for my gain?

Boy, heavy stuff. Sorry if I went too deep into this but it says a lot. This is where I need my couch, Myrna. She’s always good at these questions. (I’ll have to email her to read/post.) Well, I gotta run. If ya got 2 cents, I’d love to hear it.

~B

Love, love, love people!

All my love on this eve of Valentine’s Day. Had a rough night last night. I added mechanic assistant and fridge organizer to my already packed list of duties. DH fixed a wheel cylinder and in the process, cut a break line. Once he repaired it he needed help bleeding the breaks…cue the wife. And MIL got meat trays for her pot luck at work. While trying to make room, we had to take out a shelf and (not just) clean it. Something spilled on it and the yogourt box got stuck to the spill and ripped. It’s been like that for months! Anyway, we all got our jobs done even though we were tired.

Surprisingly I managed to stay awake for the 2 hour episode of Grey’s/Private Practice. I had hoped that one show would end and the other begin, but it didn’t. Great ploy to get Grey’s folks to watch both shows. I do like PP but it’s way to late! So I’m out in a flash after it’s over…DH stayed up. I woke at 3 a.m. to see him STILL PLAYING!!! I asked if he was crazy…or something like that. He wrapped up pretty quick but I was asleep again before he came to bed. Frigger! See, he does the reverse apologizing…buys flowers & candy, then acts like an ass.

Tonight, I have nothing on the agenda. There are 2 parties, but after this week, I’m not up to it. Besides, tomorrow from 9:30 – 11:30 am I have a music ministries meeting at church. UGH! Back home for lunch and nap, then back to church for mass in the afternoon. Back home again to pick up DH and kids (if they’re well enough) for S&R’s Valentine’s party. Oh…guess I’m not off the hook. I have to make biscuits and top them. Hmm…maybe I’ll squeeze that in tomorrow. Or DH can do it while I nap…I like that idea better. Payback. Hehehe

Wishing you all lots of love, hugs and kisses this weekend!!
~B

Sweet Surprise

Well, we had a bit of a complicated morning. Drop L to daycare. DH dropped me to work and I bought E in to kill time before her dentist appt. DH ran a few errands and while he was gone, I got a call that E's appt. was cancelled since the roads were slippery. Whatever! DH came back to work surprising me with flowers and my fav chocolates...Ferraro Roche (mixed pack...with original, dark choc and coconut...yum!). It was such a sweet surprise. And he wrote a cute poem on the card too. What a doll. *blush* So, DH brought E back to daycare, unwillingly...well, till I suggested he stop for timbits on the way. She perked up real quick. :) Both girls are feeling rotten with the cold. At least L slept through the night but E was up early...can't win. I need a pad lock on my door...but then they'd knock, right? I DO like cuddling with her in bed but she was ready to have breakfast, jumping in the bed, etc. I figured I'd let DH sleep and I got up with her.

Tonight we'll be busy with v-day stuff. I have to make heart-shaped biscuits with jam for daycare (both girls' classes) and I have to icing the heart-shaped cookies (gifts for their friends). I'm short 3 cookies...ugh! But I figured some would get cookies, some get choc kisses. The paper valentines are all written on. I decided not to do home-made this year and picked up Princess ones. Way less time consuming. And after we're all done that racket, I'm gonna relax and watch Grey's...if I manage to stay awake. I could nap...yawn...right...zzzzzz! Kidding...not really.

Enjoy your V-day Eve. And be careful on the icy roads.
~B

An Up Day.

I’m having a way better day today. Not much has changed. Guess I just had to wait for the blues to pass. DH went to his appt. today and got a 20 page (or something like that) report on careers suited to him. There were a lot of surprising things in there. And some that made a lot of sense. Like him being in a managerial position. Jeff doesn’t like taking orders very well but he’s good at delegating. Maybe that’s why he’s so slack around the house. Hehehe Anyway, there’s a lot to go over and research further. At least it’s something positive.

Since DH has the car, MIL is picking me up. We have choir practice tonight so that’ll keep us busy…and DH too since he’ll have to get the girls to bed. I was hoping to get back in my bubbly tub but that didn’t materialize yet. Thursday night for sure! The girls like it and so do I. Both have coughs and colds right now. Such a sin. L was up 3-4 times last night. I kind of fogged out after a while. Wish it was closer to the wknd so they could’ve stayed home. Tomorrow E has a dentist appt. Hopefully she’ll get though it well enough. Glad I can break up these appts with DH. It’s nice not always having to be the one to take them.

Well, I’m gonna run. Have a good hump day!
~B

Countdown to 5!

Sooo glad the day's almost over. I had tons of energy yesterday and none today...weird since yesterday was Monday. I had a really busy day, working and reworking a few accounts. My brain's gone to mush! Otherwise, I'm still feeling a bit blah about the finances thing. But I got some good news today. I'm getting tickets to the Princess Tea. It's a charity thing my work's sponsoring. It's on Mother's Day. It'll be a nice treat for E & I. Not much going on tonight. I have to make a V-day card with E for my folks. And the bubbly tub 'should' be ready to go tonight so I'll take the gals and I will enjoy that. I'm going to try to get to bed early tonight too. So tired of being tired. Stupidly staying up late watching crappy TV. Maybe I'll get reading again. Sarah lent me The Tao of Pooh. And I STILL need to find my Secret book. If it's not in the garage, I must have lent it out.

Well, gotta run. Have a good night!
~B

MY life continued...

Thanks for everyone’s good thoughts. I have waves of feeling better mixed with heart palpitations. It’s scary when you feel you’re barely above the water. I do find solace in church. The family really got involved this year and I feel it helps. At mass, the priest spoke about Job and how he had everything…family, possessions, faith…and God took it all away. Job still kept his faith though he didn’t understand the lesson in it all. That’s what I need to do. Profess that faith that I’m in God’s hands and he will care for us. Truly, I’m rich in many ways. I have lasting love, wonderful children, a healthy family, and a roof over head. And if I lost every possession I had, it wouldn’t matter, as long as I had my family.

So, just when I thought I couldn’t handle another thing, E got hurt at daycare. She fell on the playhouse (tripped while running/on ice) and cut her upper lip. DH & I sat at emerge for nearly 4 hours, of which E was not allowed to eat, only to find there were 4 more ahead of us. I saw 3 patients go ahead of her who arrived after us. I was really annoyed. For the 2 minutes it would take to tell us to go home and slap a band-aid on it. That’s what we ended up doing. E ate cold nuggets and fries, and warm milk on the way home. So frustrating! I’m going to the Cobequid next time for sure. I believe the care at the IWK is exemplary…but not for a 4+ hour wait. E’s fine, though I’m sure she’ll have a nasty scar.

Well, I must be off. Gotta have lunch and go to my hair appt…which I can’t afford. UGH! DH said he felt this year was going to be a great one for us. I hope he’s right!
~B

The Facts of MY Life

So this blog was never intended to be a pity pot. It’s not meant to be a pissing match of how “worse” my life is than anyone else. Or “dear God won’t somebody save me.” It’s just a little slice of the reality I face, and I’m sure a lot of others can relate to.

So my husband’s been laid off pretty much since October. Yeah, that’s over 3 months. Fortunately, he’s working with a career counselor to figure out what to do next. We have 2 kids in daycare because we can’t afford for one of us to stay home full time with the kids …but we can barely afford to send them. My MIL lives which us which helps a ton. But we have a small 3 bedroom, 1 level home for our big family. The water pump isn’t working properly and needs to be repaired. And we have an unrelated water leak under the house. Our minivan is 9 years old and needs at least one major $1000 repair. Compound on this the prospect of my husband starting school in the fall…which could cost thousands we don’t have.

Till payday on the 15th we have $163 in our chequing account. Of that, 3 bills are due to come out totaling $190. (Thank God for that $50 overdraft.) And I just had to pay over $250 worth of bills with our personal line of credit, which is just $350 from reaching the max. We have 3 credit cards with at least $2500-3500 owning on each. It’s a heap of a mess, no doubt. I hate bringing it up at home because it just makes DH feel worse about his situation. Sure, he could be out there doing anything…working at Tim’s…but the money he would earn wouldn’t be as much as he’s getting on EI. And under the table work isn’t so easy to find…not decent work anyway. And he could always get called back to work.

Yes, I know we’ve made our bed and we are lying in it…believe me. It’s been a struggle since we bought our house. Pretty bad when 2 people who make great money (when we’re both working) and we don’t have enough to survive in a cheap house in the sticks. We’ve contemplated selling and moving into an apartment but I’m sure we wouldn’t make any money on the place. We haven’t been in the house long enough. It’s desperate stories like ours that drive people to drastic measures…like selling drugs or praying to win the lottery. I’ve tried to maintain the faith that the Lord will provide. It’s not always easy but I feel if I don’t have faith, I’d crack and crumble onto the floor. And that’s the reason I had to write about it…to get it out…to shut off my worry button and get on with my work. I can hardly concentrate. I’m not looking for solutions…I know there are lots of steps to take to get there. I just needed to unload and forget about it for a while.

So, as always, I thank you for letting me dump my garbage. Thanks for listening, being there, even if I don’t hear back, I feel your presence and it helps a lot! God Bless and have a great weekend. And no worries, I’ll be keeping my chin up…cause it could always be worse.
~B

Ahhhh

I made time to spend more than 2 minutes blogging today. Though there’s not much going on to talk about. Another busy day…which is great. Makes the day go fast. Tonight DH & I are going to Myrna & Bruce’s for a fond farewell get together. They leave for the T-dot next week. So excited for their new adventure but it’s hard saying goodbye. Myrn & I have been work buds since I started at the station 7 years ago. Actually, I was hired to replace her. She was back in 6 weeks. ;) Thankfully there was another spot open for her.

I kid about Myrn having ESP…she knew I was preggers with E before I did. Hehehe! She has a lot of experience in that department…4 kids!! She would joke that if Bruce’s pants were hanging on the line and the breeze was blowing in her direction, she’d get knocked up. So funny. She’s been a huge support, great cheerleader and wonderful friend. I’ll miss them both.

Well enough sap from me for the day. Hope you have a good night.
~B

I don't have long...

...but I wanted to catch you up. Friday...nice day off, had fun with mom, shopping, lunch out, relaxing evening. Saturday...lounge around, choir, church...sick, sick, sick...all night. Sunday...in bed, sick all day. Monday...home, sick still...but felt a bit better relaxing with hubby. Tuesday...back to work, busy, left early with the storm...afternoon/evening watching princess movies. Today...tired, heading home, wishing for more snow days. :)

Hope you're all well and safe!
~B