The Facts of MY Life
So this blog was never intended to be a pity pot. It’s not meant to be a pissing match of how “worse” my life is than anyone else. Or “dear God won’t somebody save me.” It’s just a little slice of the reality I face, and I’m sure a lot of others can relate to.
So my husband’s been laid off pretty much since October. Yeah, that’s over 3 months. Fortunately, he’s working with a career counselor to figure out what to do next. We have 2 kids in daycare because we can’t afford for one of us to stay home full time with the kids …but we can barely afford to send them. My MIL lives which us which helps a ton. But we have a small 3 bedroom, 1 level home for our big family. The water pump isn’t working properly and needs to be repaired. And we have an unrelated water leak under the house. Our minivan is 9 years old and needs at least one major $1000 repair. Compound on this the prospect of my husband starting school in the fall…which could cost thousands we don’t have.
Till payday on the 15th we have $163 in our chequing account. Of that, 3 bills are due to come out totaling $190. (Thank God for that $50 overdraft.) And I just had to pay over $250 worth of bills with our personal line of credit, which is just $350 from reaching the max. We have 3 credit cards with at least $2500-3500 owning on each. It’s a heap of a mess, no doubt. I hate bringing it up at home because it just makes DH feel worse about his situation. Sure, he could be out there doing anything…working at Tim’s…but the money he would earn wouldn’t be as much as he’s getting on EI. And under the table work isn’t so easy to find…not decent work anyway. And he could always get called back to work.
Yes, I know we’ve made our bed and we are lying in it…believe me. It’s been a struggle since we bought our house. Pretty bad when 2 people who make great money (when we’re both working) and we don’t have enough to survive in a cheap house in the sticks. We’ve contemplated selling and moving into an apartment but I’m sure we wouldn’t make any money on the place. We haven’t been in the house long enough. It’s desperate stories like ours that drive people to drastic measures…like selling drugs or praying to win the lottery. I’ve tried to maintain the faith that the Lord will provide. It’s not always easy but I feel if I don’t have faith, I’d crack and crumble onto the floor. And that’s the reason I had to write about it…to get it out…to shut off my worry button and get on with my work. I can hardly concentrate. I’m not looking for solutions…I know there are lots of steps to take to get there. I just needed to unload and forget about it for a while.
So, as always, I thank you for letting me dump my garbage. Thanks for listening, being there, even if I don’t hear back, I feel your presence and it helps a lot! God Bless and have a great weekend. And no worries, I’ll be keeping my chin up…cause it could always be worse.
~B
posted by Bern @ 9:41 a.m.
3 Comments:
B-
Back in 2006, Shelley and I were doing pretty good. We were both working, and the bills were getting paid, and we were able to have some extra money for the stuff that we like. Then Shelley's work slowed down, and she was diagnosed as being bipolar. Eventually, she stopped working, and she developed a habit of spending money on gaming websites, or Pay-to-Play sites. Her manic side won, and we lost a lot of money on that. We maxed out our credit, and were not allowed to have any more. Both of our credit ratings went bad, as our ability to pay bills on time went to crap. Shelley worked all of 2 days in 2007, and we struggled all year long. I finally helped her apply for disability for her illness, and she got it on the second try. We received a large backtime windfall, and then just a few weeks later, we got a sizeable tax refund also. We got through the worst of it, managed our money a little better through much of 2008, until November when Shelley tried working again, with much better success. We had an awesome Christmas (which looked like it would be pretty crappy)! Now we have started a savings account, and we have a little in there, but it's going to grow larger very rapidly, the more Shelley works.
My point in telling you this is that, even though it looked pretty bleak (we also considered moving into an apartment), we held on and fought through. It requires patience and faith. The faith part is easy...patience is hard to come by for some people.
Take care
CJ
Hope unloading helps. I know it helps me. We're here for ya :)
This too shall pass.
A huge hug from other side of the ocean! P.
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