Just when you think it couldn't get any worse...
Well after yesterday's pitty party, I felt awefully dumb. I spent a great night with E. It's easy for me to doubt my abilities as a mom...especially when I get "comments" that feel like criticism. I hate second guessing myself. Why can't outsiders accept that you are the mother and you know best? If I ask for help or suggestions, I've opened up the door. If not, shut up and accept my choices WITHOUT criticism. Anyway, after lots of thought, and a little trust from E, I realize I am a good mother. Last night she trusted me enough to get in the big tub (rather than the Rubbermaid container) even though she was afraid. I reassured her it was alright and the bath mat was for her safety. Once she got over that, she had a great time playing.
Anyway, re: the subject line, I nearly didn't blog at all today. Life has been dealing us really crappy cards for the passed year. Just when I think we're starting to recover, we get kicked in the face. I won't get into the dramatics but it's all financial. I feel like I just can't take one more thing...I get over it...a few months go by...and I get one more thing. Is this how it's going to be for the next 3 years? (When loans are paid off.) It's just so sad to me. DH & I make good money but the problems and our debt keep piling up. We should feel secure. Instead I daydream about winning the lotto to help me sleep at night.
So that's my vent for the day. Hopefully the rest of the week will brighten up.
~B
posted by Bern @ 1:22 p.m.
3 Comments:
I think we are all dreaming of the lotto. What would you do if you won? I think I'd have it all spent inside a few days :)
I know these struggles are tough. Just take them one day at a time and do what you can. That is all you can do.
And hopefully it helps to know it won't be like this forever!
Does Jeffy have any time for on the side work? Even a job a week or every two working on cars might help to ease some of the pressure ... even if just to help get the dues paid ....
What would I do if I won? After I paid off all my debts, I'd charter a plane (maybe Canjet) and fly me and 50 of my closest friends (or whatever the plane holds) to Turkey. We'd visit Arzu & family, relax along the Med sea, spend enormous amounts of cash in Arzu's jewelry shop and eat the most delish food ever!!
~B
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