Love through thick and thin

I tend to come up with some great titles every now and then. This would be the title for today's thoughts...or for my first weight loss book. :) I'm a case in progress...as we all are.

The thought comes from the "down" feelings I'm having lately. Not quite depressed...not so dramatic as that. Just unhappy with my appearance. My long time friends know that I've spent more of my life fat than thin. In fact, there weren't many thin years in my passed. The first 7 or 8 years of my life. Every time I think of me thin, I get that same picture of myself...cute as a bug...white blonde bob, pale blue dress, and white panty hose. My legs looked like twigs...never seen since. Anyway, I'm on a continual trial of eating right. No sugar this week...the first day I lasted till 3 p.m. No worries, we'll try tomorrow. 2 cookies at lunch...and a lemon pie's in the oven. UGH! The thing about people who have weight issues is they know everything they NEED to do...they just don't do it.

Okay...back to my "book title". No matter how many times I look at myself in the mirror, disgusted, or how down I get on myself for eating something sweet (which is my vice), at the end of the day everyone loves me...through thick and thin. So I'm going to work on stop beating myself up. If I just enjoy the endulgents and say to myself, 'that was delightful' and move on with the day, I'd be much better off. Instead I get mad at myself, get more upset and eat more. The vicious cycle of an emotional eater. It doesn't mean I'm letting myself off the hook, because like I said, I know what I NEED to do. I admit I am a sugar-aholic. And I know I need to stop having sweets on a daily basis. Like I said before, there'll always be another slice of birthday cake or heart shaped chocolate box. Just stay away from eating the stuff that's hanging around that you don't even like...or get rid of it.

It's a lesson I want my daughters to learn as well. I got rid of all the timbits. It's not a proper reward. I've decided to treat E with something fun at the end of the week. She's pretty much trained herself and the "rewards" are basically outings we would be normally doing with her anyway. Still, I think she likes the smiley faces adding up on the calendar. Well, I guess I've gone on enough of a tangent for one night. Just remember, the people you surround yourself with love you because of who you are, flaws and all. I need to learn to love myself the way through their eyes and not my own critical view. So after I savour that yummy slice of pie I'm going to give myself a big ol' hug and work on being a better me tomorrow.

Night y'all!
~B