Unexpected morning workout

Another tiring night with L...up at 1 and 6:30. I shouldn't complain I guess...but she was sleeping through the night for a while there. Of course, once the wknd was over, she's been up through the night both nights. Anyway, I get E ready for daycare, pile the kids in the van, and nothing...not a click, not a rev...nothing. So, the decision...do I keep E home and waste the $$ or pack the kids up for a walk to daycare. I did the later. In the mist and with cars zipping by us at 80Km/hr, we trudge up to the daycare. E's hands were red from the cold...I got her to tuck them in her jacket. She didn't complain though...just kept pointing out the drain pipes along the way. :) L was bundled up like a little catapiller in a cocoon. She was damp from the mist but didn't complain either. I think she enjoyed the bumpy ride. Which brings me to the question of how I can petition to get a paved side walk. The shoulder isn't big enough...and some sections are breaking away...so I have to get on the road. Not very safe in my opinion. Anyway, we're no worse for wear and E's at daycare.

So since the van isn't working, I'm house bound today...which I prefer. I'm really tired. L's been down for an hour or so. I didn't bother lying down myself cause if I do, I likely won't be able to sleep this afternoon. I'm still having lots of trouble sleeping. I need to find a remedy. I don't walk to go so far as taking sleeping pills. And having a drink before bed every night doesn't sit well with me. I was thinking about herbal teas. I believe Camamille is supposed to be good for bedtime. I specifically need something not so much to help me sleep as to relieve stress. That's why I stay awake. My brain races with renovation plans, $$ issues, etc. I try to shut it off but never seem to be able to, unless I have a drink to relax. But again, that's not a habit I want to get into.

Well, I'm gonna jet and relax before miss L wakes. Any suggestions for relaxation techniques would be grately appreciated. Oh, and I was thinking of starting a FB campaign. I'm trying to find a friend of mine without any luck. Could be that he's not on FB. Not sure how to go about it. My info is limited to name, birth place and we went to UCCB together. I know his dad died when he was young and his mom has a different last name. Same with some of his siblings. Any ideas?
TTFN!
~B

Oh happy day!

I know...I'm not usually a wknd blogger but I'm so freakin' excited, I'm about to burst. I think I'm getting my groove back. Everything is falling into place and you can't help but feel good about it.

For started, I started Curves 6 wk solution, on my own, again for the 3rd or 4th time since Lily's birth. Well, my mind must be set and I must have been more ready to do the work. I lost 5 lbs, 3 inches and 2.3 lbs of body fat. Sweet!!!! That little bit has given me back my confidence and made a world of difference in my life. I'm more happy...easier to get along with...and hubby is noticing...wink, wink. :) So, the ball continues to roll with the huge income tax breaks that gave us back a lot this year. Enough to get new windows!!! We dropped by a place today and got a very rough estimate (we're getting them in next week to do an official estimate). Looks like we'll have enough to cover it.

Another reason to be happy is getting organized for E's b-day party. I ordered the cake, figured out what to use for making the kids pizza, got the "loot bags" DONE, and...here's the big one...AND got E's play set!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We went to Walmart to shop for presents and thought we'd browse. They had a really nice set, close to the Costco one but less suped up, for $500. Plus it's good from ages 3-10. Sounds like a deal to me! We're going to see if we can set it up closer to the party and reveal it to her on the day. We also got her a Princesses airbed and a few other little things. Man, I can't wait for her party!! It will be crazy with all the guests (we're talkin' 11 kids, 5 babies and 14 adults if everyone comes). My hope is for nice weather so we can ship the kiddies outside. If not, it will be a little crazy indoors...but that's all part of the fun, right?

Well, I better go. Little baby girl is up and Daddy's about to fall asleep. TTFN!
~B

What is wrong with me????

So you've heard me enough on the "lack of sleep" department. Now it's getting worse. I'm having the most aweful time trying to get to sleep! Last night, I stayed up to watch Grey's...I know, foolish, but so wonderful to watch again. Had I known it was on, I would have watched it at 8. Anyway, I shut the TV off at 11 and stared at the clock till after midnight. It makes waking up at 4:30 dreadful. Got L fed and she was beaming awake so I figured I may-as-well be productive since I'm up. E's b-day invites are done...just need 1 address and I'll drop 2 at daycare (E wanted to invite 2 gals from her class...so cute!). And I got some emailing done...Mari, check yours for ad advice. Now L's back to bed and E isn't up yet...so why am I not sleeping??? So foolish.

Not much planned for today. I want to make muffins for DH & MIL's lunches...pb banana from DD....yummy!!! And I'm going for groceries after Curves tonight. That's about it. And since we woke up to snow, playing on the swings will likely be off the list. I'm tempted to take the gals out, but that's always tricky. I'm really tired anyway so I might just say the hell with in and stay in for a movie day or something. Tomorrow, DH & I are going window shopping...for windows. And we're going to check out Rona and look for play sets. E's b-day is in 2 weeks so we'll have to figure out what we're going to do. I'm thinking maybe a slide would do...if we can find one. Anyway, I better get going. Hope you all have a great wknd!
~B

Safety first

Not the brand name...just thinking about safety today. Kind of ironic that I'd run into the "child save" (www.childsave.com) registry at the mall. Okay...back to the beginning. So I drop my #1 girlie off at daycare accompanied by piles of tears and sadness. Poor darlin'. I'm afraid I don't have a heart. When it's her day to go, she's goin' whether she wants to or not. Mama need the break. Anyhoo, I take #2 girlie out, since we're on the road anyway, to HSC for a mall walk. I was gonna call Shay or Megan to go but said the hell with it...I wasn't organized enough and I figured neither would be up with the birds like I am. So, after our walk, I sit down to feed L. I see a little girl (probably 6 or 8...I find it hard to tell) sitting alone. I see a lady join her (figuring it was her mother). It's not that I didn't trust the mother...I just wondered how old does you child have to be to leave her for a few minutes to go to the bathroom? I'm so conscious of preditors (to a fault) that I don't want to ever leave them alone for a second. Anyway, just food for thought.

So after L's baba, my Jo, a few stops to buy stuff...mmm...shopping, I head downstairs and see this booth. Of course the gal knows right away that I'm buyin' what she's sellin'. But truthfully, it's a great idea. After her shpeal of facts on missing kids, she tells me what they do...essentially give a tracking number that attaches to all your family info and kids info (since the privacy act's in place, this is a good idea). So I have a ton of stickers to fix to the car seats, our wallets, etc., that has this master number. I fill the rest of your info, including the girls pics and mail it in. They'll mail me an ID card for each girl. You can also fill it out online and email jpg pics. Pretty easy proposition. She said the monitoring fee used to be $5.25/child/month...now it's $5.25/family per month or there's a savings if you pay the annual fee. Then they'll mail a letter to renew every year.

In this day and age when you can't let you kids play outside alone, we need something like this. I don't know about your guys but when I was a kid, we were gone till suppertime. Out playing all over the neighbourhood, in the woods, way out of our parents sight. You just can't do that now. I'm just glad we have a fensed in backyard where I can let E roam and check on her every few minutes. I'm telling you, if we did what our parents did back in the day, our kids would be gone. It's an aweful way to live, but that's the reality. I wonder if we'll ever get to those carefree days or will it just get worse. Who knows. Guess you just have to make the best of things and protect your kids as much as you can.

Well, I'm off to grab some lunch before little miss wakes up. Take care...and don't forget your umbrella--ella--ella.
~B

No worse for wear...

...I guess. E finally slept throught the night again...but L was up at 1 and again at 5. Wish they could get their schedules working together. :) I'm home with both today and opted to stay in for E's sake. Although I'm sure her "recovery" period is well over. Yesterday she was so psyched to play, she paid no attention to our pleas to "settle down!" Oh well, she's a kid, what can I expect.

Anyway, L went down, just after E got up this a.m. Got the wish-disher (dishwasher) emptied, paid bills online, emailed a window place for an estimate and I'm blogging. Not a bad day to start. Just wish I was sleeping again. :) Not much else planned for today. I thought it would rain all day so I didn't plan to go outdoors...but I see the sun shining through so maybe we'll get out. I want to clean the baby slide...E's gonna help...so we'll at least have that for the b-day party. Not sure if I mentioned we we're looking for a climber/play set for E for her b-day. Nothing fancy...we want a slide on it...but we're not having any luck getting one second hand...and I'm not shelling out $800 for a new one. Any suggestions??? We've been on Kijiji and emailed one person who didn't respond...do I guess theirs is sold.

Well, gotta run. E's getting ansy waiting for me...so demanding these kiddies. :) Have a great one.
~B

Flying Colours

Miss E did great today with her eye surgery. The Dr. said she had "a tight (tear duct) system." They tried to open it up best they could. He said there is a possibility that it wouldn't open up fully and maybe they'd have to put tubes in there. I hope not...one surgery is enough. Anyway, E was nausious after surgery so they gave her "gravol" type meds. Before we knew it she was ansy to go home and eat a popcicle. Well, the poor gal hasn't stopped!! She got home and jumped around, playing, NOT taking it easy in the least. She ate a ton too. She's DEF on the mend.

I meant to run errands this afternoon...look for new windows for the house...thank you Revenue Canada...but I was so tired, I fell asleep in the bath. :) We did some web surfing but I think we best visit a place. Any recommendations??? We have 2 places on our radar...Metro Windows & Doors and Nova Doors & Windows. DH also called about replacing the windshield and we found a guy who comes to your home/work for a great price!! I'll have to pick a day for that. Lots of projects on the go. Well, gotta run. Till tomorrow...if I get a chance.
~B

Oh my achin' bacon!

It was a productive weekend but boy, I'm sore. Friday night I decided to save myself some trouble by getting the groceries. I was tired as hell but went anyway. In the end, I had supper at 9 p.m. Not ideal to say the least. Saturday a.m., Daddy took E out to by parts for the van...and for lunch at "Old McDonalds" while I sayed home to rake the backyard. My hope is to have most of E's b-day party outside. Can't believe she'll be 3 in May...yikes! Anyway, I got most of it done and the rest I left in piles to bag after naptime. But instead of having a nap, MIL & I went to Costco shopping. I just picked up a few things but MIL rarely goes and bought a boat load. :) Ended up E didn't nap for DH while we were gone but he said both girls were great. I decided to get E outside with me to help with the leaves...aka playing on the swings. DH dug out the firepit and then bbqed hamburgers for supper...so delish. We chilled for the rest of the evening.

Sunday a.m. I started raking the front yard. I managed to get it all in piles before E & I went to church. DH stayed home fixing our van and MIL stayed home with L who is sick. After mass, we ate lunch and I tried to get E down for a nap...fortunately she did. MIL's sister came over and DH changed her winter tires over to all seasons. Then the 3 of them went out to see Frank Lowe's band SIDE KIXX at The Jolly Mug. When E and L woke from their naps, I called the gang and we met them at Canadiana for supper...it was all part of MIL's weekend long birthday celebration. ;) In the evening we watched a bit of one of E's rentals and off to bed. Today MIL is home so that's 3 nights she's gotten up with L for me...too bad E is still waking in the nights. This a.m. I was up with E then back to bed...took me over an hour to get back to sleep...drat! Tomorrow E's getting her eye surgery done...hopefully. She does have a runny nose but it's not too bad. I'm hopeful they'll still do it...they better! I have MIL watching L, DH took time off work and not to mention the trip in, paying for parking, etc.

Well, I'm off for a nap myself. Hope you're all enjoying this great weather. E & I finished bagging the leaves this a.m. Next wknd, we're mowing.

TTFN!
~B

Hard Days Night

I realize I'm just in this unfortunate stage in life...small kids are lots of fun but sleep deprivation isn't. And when I'm tired, I become "grumpy mama." That's how E views me. I don't like it one bit. I hate being the ogre doiling out the rules. I guess it comes with the job though. The whole friend vs. parent issue. It's better to be the parent than be the friend, until the child is an adult. I see the value in it...and I somewhat see the value in a child being a tad fearful of their parents. Not true fear but a fear of consequences or disappointing parents. I had a bit of "fear" toward my mother and it kept me in line. That's what I want. But I don't want to be the grumpy, angry mom. I need to work more on that.

DH and I had a talk about E last night. The poor girl is trying so hard to get everyone's attention but isn't getting it. So she acts up and that gets our attention quickly. I've instituted a new "time out" routine. Instead of sending her to "bed"/her room, she has to sit on the mat in the kitchen for 3 mins (1 min/age). If she whines and kicks up a fuss or talks back or cries, I start the timer over. So far it's working. And I'm working harder to talk with her calmly instead of loosing my cool...although it becomes hard at the end of the day. Yesterday was a prime example of her behaviour. Daddy & Nana came home. The first thing I'm starving for is adult conversation...but E's craving having complete attention from an adult...not just part of me because I'm caring for L at the same time. So while the adults are talking, E's practically jumping up and down, dancing, whatever, all in an effort to say "hey, look at me!!! I'm here!! Someone notice me!!! Pay attention to me!!!." So her voice gets loud and we all shush her. Not good.

So tonight the game plan is different. I'm putting my need to be with adults on hold and letting E get all the attention for the evening. As it is, she only gets 3 hours with them and that includes time to eat and/or bath and get to bed. Besides, I can get out the door quicker to Curves and get my adult conversation there. DH & I also realized we need to plug in more. We're in the "roommate" stage like Shay was talking about one time. We're just doing what needs to get done: caring for kids, chores, escaping (video games for him/TV for me) and not connecting to one another. Again, we need a new game plan. We're going to stop whatever we're doing and take even 5 minutes out of the evening before bed to chat. I'm hopeful it will help us become closer in this challenging time.

Don't get me wrong...as much as I bitch about the kids, they bring such value and meaning to my life. In the midst of all the temper tantrums and wakings in the night, I love them more than anything in this world. And no matter how hateful they can be, I'll always love them...you can't switch that off just because they're being a pain in the ass. And at the end of the day, what part of this isn't my job?? I'm the mom, that's what we do. We get up at 11:30, and 3:30, and 6:30, and try to keep it together. We love even when we're hated. That moment when you see your child come into the world, that overwhelming, overflowing feeling of love envelopes and never goes away.

Well, that's enough of my Dr. Phil psychology today. Hope wherever you are you can keep the grumpies away and fill your heart with love and compassion.

~B

Help!

I need some advice with Emma. Every night she's waking up and I can't take much more. Here's how the night went: Got her to bed at 8 p.m. after much protesting because she didn't have a nap. I went to bed at 10-10:30. Midnight...she wakes crying/scared...got her milk...back to bed. 2 a.m....crying/scared...told her she's fine...back to bed. 3 a.m....wake with Lily to feed her...back to bed by 4. 4:45 a.m....E wakes AGAIN...wants more milk...told her to stop waking me and go to sleep. I return to bed, swearing and telling DH his turn is next. 5 mins later E's crying again. DH gets up and before he can do anything, she falls back asleep. And instead of sleeping in, both girls are up at 6:30. I don't have to tell you how tired I am. Mari: if this is what your nights are like, I think I would sleep in my minivan. Seriously, I was ready to leave and find a hotel for the night. What can I do????

I understand kids have fears but I took a good 5 minutes last night with E telling her God and the angels are protecting her. I find it very difficult not to resent her, and I think that's part of the reason she's acting out. I admit, I don't goo and gush over her in the morning cause I'm so angry about her waking me the night before. But I do make a fuss over L. L is just a baby, so I know she's going to wake in the nights. Plus, when E wakes, she's sooky and gives me attitude so it's easy to be kind to one and not the other. Guess I have to keep in mind that she's just a little girl. It's not "fair" that I get woken up...but it's not fair to E for me to treat her different than L. It's not her fault that she's so fearful and wakes often. I just wish there was some way I could reassure her...but nothing seems to work. *sigh* Any advice???

BTW, E's been a perfect doll this a.m....playing so nicely with L, letting me nap on the bed while she's beside me watching a movie, passing me her toys to share. It's been really hard to be mad at her today. Well, I gotta run...laundry in the dryer and I need a snack. Cross your fingers that we all have super naps this afternoon.
~B

Empty threats

Ya know, sometimes you gotta do whatcha gotta do to get results. Today I made a threat to E if she didn't nap. Not that I'm fond of threatening her at all but it seems the only way to get results. Often times I warn her that if she doesn't (fill in the blank), I'll send her to her room/give her a time out/put her to bed. She'll still continue to carry on until I start to count...then she comes running. I don't like to operate that way but again, I get results. So back to the nap. She's been very, very difficult to get to nap. Today's threat was a spanking. I didn't intend to spank her period...just wanted her to listen. And she did. Is that wrong? I guess the deal would be would I have spanked her if she didn't listen. *Sigh*

Spanking wasn't used on me only but 1 time. My oldest brother, I'm told, got the majority. I think by the time I came along, mom realized it wasn't very affective. I tend to go for things I know E loves...her blankie and baby...but now she'll say, "I don't want blankie/baby" and throws them on the floor...so where do I go from there? I can't threaten to give her a time out/send her to bed because she's already in bed. Maybe that's the problem...threatening to go to bed...cause when she's supposed to go, she may see it as punishment instead of a rest. Hmmm...food for thought.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about the nap. I really viewed it as a break for me but now with 2, and differing naptimes, I'm not getting a nap when the 2 are home. Today I switched my thinking. Naptime is for the girls to rest, not me. If I somehow manage to coordinate naptime, great for me, but trying to accomplish that is stressful. I decided to let it go, skip the nap, and hope to get one the following day. Knowing I can nap every second day is sufficient. Plus, I'm in bed earlier in the nights. I've given up waking L because she still wakes in the night. Now I go to bed around 9 or 10, up at 2 or 3, back to bed till 6. Not the best, but not bad. And every now and then I get blessed when L sleeps ALL NIGHT. Now if I could just get E to stop waking up, screaming in the middle of the night. Ah well, whatever it takes to get through the day.

Well, have a great wknd!
~B

Yeah!! I'm here!!

So glad to catch some time blogging. It's been nutty as I said. Yesterday Dad & I ran errands and my appt. in the a.m. Managed to get somewhat of a nap in the afternoon...although L cried most of the time. Poor mom. In the p.m., I went to Curves (just before close) and picked up my RX and a few things at Superstore. My ENT said that I'm making progress, although I have a cold right now. He used a scope to see what's going on...that was pleasant...not! It's pretty blocked right at the bridge, that's why my glasses feel so heavy there. So I'm back to the sinus rinse, then my spray, and now rhinocort powder. Wheee...it's so fun. If I get results, it will be worth it.

Not much else new besides that. Having trouble getting into my Superstore photolab account to print off pics from the baptism...grr. The lab sent me my password...but the email read "Here it is:" with nothing following...what a trick. Anyway, I think the problem is I can't remember my username. Hopefully I'll hear from them soon. Well, I gotta run and get the recycling out to the curb. Plus, I want E to get out for some fresh air. Hope you enjoy the sunshine...up to 11 degrees today...yippee!!!

TTFN!
~B

Falling behind

Sorry it's taken me this long to blog. Been really busy since I got back and my folks are here so I don't want to be rude being on the computer for any length of time.

All is okay in our world. Very tired with L. Her sleeping pattern is all jigged up. Mom woke her to feed her last night at 10. Then she woke at 3 then 6 this a.m. My eye balls are on my cheeks. Anyway, yesterday was nuts. E had her ENT appt....everything's good with her....but I locked my keys in the van. Had to call dad, explain directions to the IWK and get him to bring me DH's keys...thank goodness he forgot them at home. Plus the appt went terribly long. I was zonked by the time we got home at 1. I slipped my afternoon nap cause I had to pick up DH at work. In the evening, mom & I went shopping...so the long day and long night are catching up with me.

There's a whole other ton of stuff I'd like to chat/bitch about but I'm too tired and have to get on the run again. E to daycare, run errands then my ENT appt. Nuts I tell ya.

Oh, L's baptism was really nice. E was running all over the church!!! Thank goodness the priest is forgiving...and good humoured. He's tired putting the godparents on the spot a bit (there were 2 other families) but Shay & Mark didn't miss a beat. :) L's pretty lucky to have such great people in her life...and so are we. Can't wait to get together this week!! Anyway, gotta run. TTFN!
~B