Help!
I need some advice with Emma. Every night she's waking up and I can't take much more. Here's how the night went: Got her to bed at 8 p.m. after much protesting because she didn't have a nap. I went to bed at 10-10:30. Midnight...she wakes crying/scared...got her milk...back to bed. 2 a.m....crying/scared...told her she's fine...back to bed. 3 a.m....wake with Lily to feed her...back to bed by 4. 4:45 a.m....E wakes AGAIN...wants more milk...told her to stop waking me and go to sleep. I return to bed, swearing and telling DH his turn is next. 5 mins later E's crying again. DH gets up and before he can do anything, she falls back asleep. And instead of sleeping in, both girls are up at 6:30. I don't have to tell you how tired I am. Mari: if this is what your nights are like, I think I would sleep in my minivan. Seriously, I was ready to leave and find a hotel for the night. What can I do????
I understand kids have fears but I took a good 5 minutes last night with E telling her God and the angels are protecting her. I find it very difficult not to resent her, and I think that's part of the reason she's acting out. I admit, I don't goo and gush over her in the morning cause I'm so angry about her waking me the night before. But I do make a fuss over L. L is just a baby, so I know she's going to wake in the nights. Plus, when E wakes, she's sooky and gives me attitude so it's easy to be kind to one and not the other. Guess I have to keep in mind that she's just a little girl. It's not "fair" that I get woken up...but it's not fair to E for me to treat her different than L. It's not her fault that she's so fearful and wakes often. I just wish there was some way I could reassure her...but nothing seems to work. *sigh* Any advice???
BTW, E's been a perfect doll this a.m....playing so nicely with L, letting me nap on the bed while she's beside me watching a movie, passing me her toys to share. It's been really hard to be mad at her today. Well, I gotta run...laundry in the dryer and I need a snack. Cross your fingers that we all have super naps this afternoon.
~B
posted by Bern @ 8:51 a.m.
3 Comments:
Sorry, when I read your comment about sleeping in the van I had to laugh! Oh baby, I've been there more than I care to comment on and know exactly how you feel. It sucks too cause mine never sleep in no matter what. They're up by 6 - 6:30 everyday. It's hard with two too cause they never wake up at the same time through the night. It's always one after the other. However, It's been a bit better and I'm only up once or twice these days and had two nights when the kids slept through! It's been 5 1/2 years coming!
Anyway, advice...hmmm, does she have a nightlight? Is there something she can verbalize that she's scared of?? Sometimes it's habit too. If she knows she can get up and get milk, a snack (or a rise out of mommy hehe) she'll do it for the sake of that. At least I've found that. Sometimes, they genuinely are scared and need a hug etc. It is damn tough, I know but hopefully it's a stage that will pass quickly. I would tell her you're across the hall (or wherever you are) and always there for her if she needs you if you don't want to consider staying with her or letting her in with you (yes, I know how that leads to more).
Try not to let it change your view/actions which can be hard but kids do things and forget the next min. If you're upset she'll have NO idea why. I'm beginning to think sleeplessness goes along with being a mom - at least in my case. I just hope it doesn't go on as long for you :)
Good luck chick and try to get some zzzzz's.
Oh, and we started leaving things where the kids could get em themselves. Like cups by the water so if they want em, they can go get it. However, we now have rules that after snack at night, that's it! They've caught on :)
Man, I feel so blessed. I don't know what to tell you at all. I know it is so hard to function without sleep.
But, really, the only time my kids EVER wake through the night is if they are too cold, or if they throw up. The always sleep through the night.
Could she be chilly? If there is something that is nagging at her sleep a bit, like needing to pee or needing more blankets, you know how you are only half asleep? Maybe that could be a part of it?
Also, I think it for sure develops a habit. She wants you, all of you, not you with L .. and if she can get you in teh night, it's just you!
That is a real challenge with the a.m. and feeling resentful. It is only natural, but would be really hard for E to understand.
Good luck with it lady - not easy!!
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