Not Firing on All Cylinders

I feel like I'm working backwards today. I rushed to get the girls out to daycare and forgot to brush E's teeth, give L her meds and both their teddy bears (Teddy Bear Picnic today at daycare). Anyway, E will live, L has extra meds at daycare and I ran home and back with the bears. Ugh! And it's really starting to piss me off that I can't fall back asleep when I get home. I crawl back in with DH and just lay there awake...frustrating! And I'm finding it more frustrating that I'm doing the morning routine by myself. At least it's only for 3 weeks, then DH can deal with the frustration and be tired on top of it. Wish I could be like him and sleep on a dime. UGH!

Anyway, I'm so cranky cause I also stayed up late. Every night I vow to go to bed at 10 and don't make it...mostly because I don't like going to bed alone and end up waiting for DH to come home from work (after midnight). Last night was different though. After the girls went to bed, I organized my scrapping stuff (going to a workshop today and scrapping with Shay tomorrow...YEAH!). I got a great deal done. I went through pics from August and have a file ready to send to print. Got my projects organized so I know what I'm working on. Still need to figure out if I can get ahold of any 2007 pics. I'm mainly upset about losing the one's of E's b-day. We did a flower theme...which I still have the invite for...but no pics of the cake, friends, etc. All lost. I was hoping maybe Shay had taken pics but likely not since I was taking them. That's why I'm more diligent to print off so often. Better to have a stack of pics home waiting to be scrapped than on my computer. I really need to figure out how to burn them on CD.

I also was up for another good reason. L was having a lot of trouble settling last night. She slept for just 25 mins at daycare today. When she got home, I was lucky enough to get supper into her and put her to bed. She was down for about 1 hr & a 1/2. I got her up for a bath, meds and bottle and tried putting her back down at 8...she woke up at 9 and was basically up till 10-10:30. Just couldn't settle unless someone rocked her. Poor doll, hope she has a better day.

So after I went through my pics I noticed one of me on the beach. I charged all kinds of feelings in me: disappointment, sadness, disgust...and also pride, that I was brave enough not to worry about what other's though because I wanted to play with my daughter on the beach. After I'd wrapped up my projects, I took my journaling book out. I reread all the notes from my Food Addiction book and started over. I think I've been afraid to work on it because it requires work. I put my head in the sand wishing the weight away, but it won't go anywhere if I don't do the work. MFMegan told me about a weight loss goal she reached the other day. In her mind, she doesn't see how it can be motivating to others, but it truly is. I see her do the hard work and she's getting results. I also see her struggling at times, but she keeps going. I need that in my life too...instead of wearing blinders.

Anyway I'm gonna try lying down one more time...or maybe the bubbly tub again...mmm...that sounds better. TTFN and enjoy the sunshine while it lasts!

~B