The Evolution of Me

I never saw myself as a person holding a grudge, or unforgiving. Guess I chalked it up to self preservation. I kept away those who hurt me and held on tight to those who loved me. But as time is passing, and likely cause I'm getting older/wiser (take your pick), I'm learning to forgive.

First it was the childhood chum who didn't "come to my rescue" when I was in the big new city all my myself. Then tonight it was the junior high friend who wasn't always a great friend to me and my other BF...who's forgiven her wrong, but I couldn't let it go. Now I'm thinking of others to add to the list...but how far do I go? Do I need to tell them all, even if they have no clue I'm harbouring this hurt? There are 2 in particular from my past. One who wronged the man I love, and another who wronged me, making me feel inferior, not good enough and just treated me badly. Maybe it's an exercise for a journal...not a direct letter. It's not like I'm looking for validation or something from them. I just need to let it go.

A lot to reflect on on a late night. Food for thought for all of us. How many people have wronged you...and how have you let that hurt change your being? Why do we keep hold of that hurt? Are we afraid of who we will become if we let the hurt go? As Dr. Phil says, "What's the pay off?" There is one I'm sure. For me, maybe it's because I have this need to be "the victim." Well I don't like it...and I don't want to be anymore. So to those who've wronged me, you're forgiven. I will not hold onto the hurt. I am worthy of respect and love, and you should treat the ones I love in the same way. I am talented and willing to learn, if you take the time to teach me. I am valuable...I am good enough. I am deserving of acceptance in my choices and beliefs. I believe in myself and won't let others bring me down.

Take time to see the value in you!
~B